12/06/2010

Dunno to explain how happy I m on this day…
Post picture to explain my happy ba… ^^

one year ago... (12/6/2009)

one year later.. (12/6/2010)

me n daphnie...

three of us...

happy moment

Dunno…

I dunno how to describe my feeling to you….
I know that I very love you….
But in de same time I hate u a lot also….

I really hate you….
I scare that one day I gonna hate you more than I love you…

Why ??
Last time I very sure that my love to you,
It did not contain any substances of hate….
Only full of love…
Only love…!!!

Please…
I beg u can ma ??
Can don let me hate you ma ??
I don want to hate you…
I just wanna 100% love you…
Not even 1% is hate….
Can ma ?? please~

Dislike…
I dislike this kind of feeling…
I dislike u treat me like tat…
I dislike tat I know myself unhappy also need make myself unhappy
just because want u to be easy…

know…
I know tat u dun want me unhappy…
But de reason is unhappy is u create de ah…
U think I like to unhappy ma ??
Who like to unhappy ??

Beg..
I beg you…!!
If u cant do de thing… please..!!
Don make de promise can ma ??
You know ma??
Every promise that u make, I hope that is true…
But de second that I know is wont come true, u know my heart will how pain is it ma ??

童年 vs 现在

今天要不是朋友的预约，
我看我已忘了在我童年最爱做的是….

你知道吗?
我从小除了很爱荡秋千，我更爱骑脚车…
我喜欢被风吹的感觉….
很清凉，很舒服….

你们又知道吗 ?
我近十年没有骑脚车了….
今天我终于骑到脚车了….

当我踏上脚车的那一秒，
我仿佛忘了如何骑脚车了….
很害怕会跌倒….

当我开始骑脚车的那个时刻，
我仿佛回到了童年…
那感觉很开心…
在骑着脚车的我，被风吹着，感觉很棒…..
很久很久没有这种感觉了…

我有多希望较车不要还给朋友，
让我一直骑，一直骑….
我也希望我的脚不会累…
能让我一直一直骑…

我真的很开心，一个很单纯，很简单的开心….
一个我失去很久很久的开心….

Jiaan, thanks for your invite…
If not I wont gonna have a chance to ride a bike,
Never gonna have a chance to get back the happy tat I lost long time ago….
Anyway, thanks…

^^

老公，谢谢你….
谢谢你没有因为我的一句话离开我…
谢谢你，老公….

老公我答应你，我再也不会跟你提出那两个字…
我答应你，我以后再也我任性…
我答应你，我会尽量不发你的脾气…
我答应你，我以后都做一个很好很好的老婆，一个百分百的老婆….

老公，我爱你….
我爱你一辈子….!!

对不起，dear…

Dear, 对不起…
对不起我跟你提出分手….
自从那一晚我好不理智的跟你提出分手，我哭了一整天，一整夜….
我恨我自己，为什么要提出分手? 为什么?
那一晚，我哭了一整晚….
我害怕… 我真的很怕… 我怕你不会在回来了… 我在回到我身边了….

我真的很害怕….
我害怕你不会来找我了…
我害怕你不会打电话给我了…
我害怕你从此离我而去…

我责怪我自己为什么要那么的冲动…
如果他真的因为我的一句话不回来了呢?
我该怎么办?!?!

寂寞

从五岁那一年，我就深深得体会到寂寞得感受
到现在从来没有停止过这种感觉
而且寂寞得感觉还越来越浓，越来越重

每天回到家，冲凉吃饭回房间
房里一个人，被四面墙保卫，躺在床上，望着天花板，发呆
这就是我没有天重复又重复做的东西

谁能体会到我这种寂寞?
这十一年连续的寂寞

有心事只能躲在棉被里哭
找不到人分享，也没有人知道，就只能哭哭哭，一直哭

Leong Khai Xiang…
你知道吗?
每一次我哭，我都很想躲在你的怀抱里哭，而不是在棉被里
你知道吗?
我跟你不一样，我从小到大都是一个人，我比谁都跟需要你
你知道吗?
你永远都不能体会到我有多么寂寞得感觉

Leong Khai Xiang
你知道你令我很失望!! 你知道吗??
为什么你就不能多了解我?
为什么你就不能给我我要的??
为什么!!!!!!!!!!

恨

Leong khai xiang……….!!
我恨你
为什么你要这样对我?
为什么?!
为什么你要一次又一次的让我生气，伤心，难过，掉泪，心痛?
我做错了什么? 为什么你要这样对待我? 告诉我啊~

为什么?
每次你的朋友一叫到你， 你就会到…
我记得..
很多次你告诉我你累，可是你朋友叫你出去喝茶，你会告诉我没关系，你不累…
很多次你本来可以有更长的时间陪我，但是因为约好朋友打篮球所以….

我问我自己
难道你就不能好好的呆在家休息陪我吗?
难道你就不能牺牲你的朋友来配我吗?
难道你的朋友比我重要吗??
难道你觉得他们比我跟需要你吗??

你知道吗?
你让我感觉，我一点也不重要，一点也比不上你的朋友…
我问我自己，我是你的谁?? 我不懂… 心好痛…. T.T

天使 => 恶魔
今天不懂搞什么，感觉时间过得很慢很慢
等你的电话等到好辛苦哦~
在等待你的电话期间，感觉很寂寞，真的很寂寞

你知道吗?
今天我终于等到你的电话了
我真的很开心哦~ 因为我所爱得人来陪我了
他的声音宛如是我的天使带给我快乐，
当我接起电话，听到他的声音，我真的很开心哦~
我有很多很多得话很想对他说，但还没来的及说出口
他变成了恶魔

他就宛如恶魔，
带给我生气，伤心，难过，掉泪，心疼
我的心好疼哦，真的很疼
就像一把刀插入我心中，很痛 眼泪不停的流

礼物

通常男女朋友生日，买了礼物，买什么都不会告诉对方吧…
买礼物是最领认头痛得吧
不知道你们会不会头痛，可是我一定会….!!
我会想….
要买什么呢? (要与众不同的)
会适合他吗?
买了他会喜欢吗?
买了他会用吗?
单单着几个问题一够让我头痛了….
所以没到男友生日就………..

反而……
我男友会跟我商量要送我什么? ( 我还是第一次了 )
会问我要什么?
喜欢吗?
要不要? ==’’’’’’’’

感觉上一点都不让我期待他的礼物哦…
好想有那种期待得干感觉哦…
我会一直一直想他会送我什么呢? 会有怎样得惊喜呢?
每当我知道他会送我什么?

but nevermind, is still okay....
感觉上有点失望哦…..

两天一夜 (开心) 15-16/5/2010

这两天一夜超开心的…
想知道为什么吗?
因为有我老公的陪伴 ^^
很开心哦…
我不会忘记这两天我们所做过的事..

我们从早万到凌晨…
虽然有点累，可是干感觉好棒哦…
那天万上我们看晚上1130的电影 (初恋红豆冰)，
直到一点多回到家一两点多了…
这课室我第一次看那么晚的电影叻， 而且还是我老公陪我哦…

老公， 我真的真的很爱你哦….
祝我们得爱情能到用永远…
老公，爱你一辈子…………!!!

希望

偶尔回你家没关系，
但是不要每次来我家载我就把握带回家，可以吗?
我不是不要回你家， 只是我不想呆在家…
回你家不是陪你的家人， 要不就跟你家得那只狗玩…
我跟你出来是要你陪我， 我陪你， 不是陪你的家人啊..
每次跟你说要出去走走， 你却对我说又没有东西买….
请问出去一定要买东西吗? 讨厌咯…!!

我所谓得出去是去那里都可以就是不像呆在家…

我希望我们能手牵手从家走到游乐场，陪我荡秋千，陪我聊天，这样我就很满足了…
我希望我们两人走在无人得街上，只有我们两人，手牵手，不放手…
我希望我们两人就像普通情侣一样，坐在楼梯口聊天…
我希望当我一个人站着的时候， 你会从我后面抱着我…
我希望你会吵着， 急着与我合照，告诉我你不想错过能与我合照得机会…
我希望不论去到那里你都会拿出手机吵着要拍照，很不希望我们每一张我们得合照背影是你的房间…
我希望你会无意间给我惊喜..

希望往往是不会说出口的…
一旦说出口那就没有意义了…
为什么你终不懂我想要的是什么??
为什么每一次都要我说你才做?? 我不想这样，我不想…

装饰品

浪漫， 甜言蜜语， 礼物等等，它们都是爱情得装饰品…
爱情漫长的路途中，如果少了它们就会像…
一棵没有任何装饰品圣诞树，
一盘没有调味料的菜肴，淡淡的…

但是!!
爱情的装饰品不能一直给，不然你会给他人一个口花花，心花花的影像…
就像一棵圣诞树塞满了吊饰品，把圣诞树青色的叶子掩盖了…
一点也不好看…

爱情的装饰品是要在适当的时间，适当的地点，给予适当得装饰品….

女生

女生??? 男生们你们了解她们吗??
现在了解女生的男生越来越少了
女生常常都是口是心非的，
她们所说的往往与心里的相反，尤其是在喜欢的人的前面…

很奇怪吧…
要就要嘛，不要就不要嘛…
是就是嘛，不是就不是嘛…
干吗要口是心非??

女生与男生不一样,
多数得男生说话都很直接的，女生却爱口是心非…

对于怎样分别女生在跟你说实话或她在口是心非…
那就看你有多了解她咯…

我要

我要你每一天起床第一个想到的人是我…
我要你不论你在那里，做些什么，你都会想起我的模样…
我要每次我们出去你都言牵 我的手， 一秒也不放开， 让我感觉到你不想失去我…
我要每次我们出去都去不同的地方，
因为我要地球得每一个小角落都有我们的回忆…
我要你每一天你会跟我说你的心情故事，
开心的，伤心的，喜欢的，讨厌的，让我更了解你…
我要你每一天对我说你爱我， 你想我， 告诉我你有多爱我想我…
我更要的是你对我的了解， 当我的嘴唇动一动你就知道我在想什么…

我要的，你能给我吗?

不喜欢/讨厌

我不喜欢也很讨厌你的手机里有那些短片…
我不喜欢也很讨厌你的手机里有其他女生的照片…
我不喜欢也很讨厌你与你的前女友的合照…
我不喜欢也很讨厌你与他人的亲密的简讯…
我不喜欢也很讨厌你因为不想我误会就把你朋友传给你的简讯删除掉，
因为这样更会令我怀疑…
我不喜欢也很讨厌你每次叫我都叫我名字…
我不喜欢也很讨厌，不知道为什么你不会牵我的手，
让我感觉我很让你丢脸，不想让他人知道我是你女友…
我不喜欢也很讨厌你每次都是被动…
我不喜欢也很讨厌你不会主动，因为害羞不敢主动….!!
我更不喜欢也更讨厌你隐瞒着我事情即使是一件小事…!!
也更讨厌你对我说谎……!!!

海派甜心

不知道也不懂你们有没有看这部台湾的连续剧呢??
这部连续剧让我掉了不少的眼泪….
这是第二部让我一直掉眼泪的连续剧….
第一部是还珠格格…
海派甜心这部连续剧让我很感动…
可能对你们而言一点都不感动吧..

这部戏 的女主角是杨丞琳在戏里饰演陈宝珠
我感觉陈宝珠很想我哦… ^^
宝珠从小就被父母忽略, 被朋友们排斥 每一次都是自己保护自己
她因为要保护自己所以去学柔道..

我跟陈宝珠唯一不同的是他有一个永远都在她身边的柔道学长
我好吃醋哦 好羡慕哦…
不关陈宝珠发生了什么是学长都会在她身边…
不管全世界的人如何排斥她，说她偷东西，是个看钱交男友的人…
学长永远相信她 永远支持她 永远爱她…

令一件让我羡慕的事是他有一个很爱很爱她的男友…
当宝珠在杭州念书时，所有的人都很讨厌她…
只有林达浪(宝珠男友)像学长一样相信她…
他们在一起三年，林达浪很单纯 很会让他的宝珠姐笑,
很会制造浪漫让他的宝珠姐很开心留下很多很多的美好回忆…


好羡慕哦
我想拥有像陈宝珠这样的学长， 这样的男有哦~
从幼稚园开始我就一直被朋友排斥直到这一分一秒…
陈宝珠比我好很多吧， 因为她是从高中才开始被朋友排斥…
不管我在学校发生什么是我不知道要跟谁诉苦,
也尝试跟父母说， 他们只会说一句别理会他们吧…
做真的像说那么容易吗??
我只能装着若无其事的样子，什么都听不见，脸带着笑容去面对…!!
回到家只能大声的躲在棉被里哭…
更羡慕陈宝珠又一个很好很好的男友
一个很单纯的男友，
一个很浪漫的男友，
一个很了解她的男友，
一个知道她要什么的男友….

陈宝珠!! 我很羡慕你!! 你好幸福哦!!!

scar...

Those word tat u say to me,
is just like a knife went in to my heart hurt me badly….
The only word SORRY,
just like you pull out the knife in my heart….
My tears non-stop falling down from my eye,
Just like my blood non-stop bleeding from my heart…
EVEN THOUGH it recover……
There still a scar FOREVER…….!!!!!

hurt... pain...!!

I m a strong person for u all ??
Is it a very strong person for all of u ??
OR
I am a person who no feeling
OR
I m a person who everytime with a smile
even though there bad thing happen to me I still with de smile…

I know..
I know tat all of u talking abt bad behind of me…
Dislike me, hate me…. Anything…!!!
But wat i did wrong??
Even all of you non-stop talking bad behind of me,
I never did anything also ah…
I never talk bad back to all of u ah…
But u all become terrible…
U all talk more n more bad abt me and getting worst n worst…!!!
Wat de hell is it ??

Why why and why ??
In my life full of why….
I always with a smile for u all cause u all never see before my tears…
Wat u all did to me, wat u all say behind me…
I really don feel ntg ma ??
PLEASE ~ I m also HUMAN BEING…..!!

From de day I enter kidnagarden…
I start to solve my own problem…
Protect myself… try to be independent…
Btu I always failed to protect myself…
AND everytime hurt by everyone around me…
I DISLIKE de life when I having in kidnagarden until NOW….!!

I hoe tat I still was a baby…
Every time protect by some one…
Every time care by some one…
I want that kind of life…
No worry,
No scare
No HURT de life…!!

I was tired to protect myself…
I found out tat the more I protect myself, the more I get hurt…
.i hope there some one 24 hours protect me….
Don let get hurt by someone…

balasan....

ytd the whole nigth i never sleep...
i realize one thing...
until ytd i only realize...

i asking myself..
why i always get hurt ??
i think for a long time...
finally i found i answers for myself...
i always hurt some one tat love me alot...
aspecially my family...
my parent and my relative..
i hurt them de most...
tat why nw i must been hurt by some one i love alot....

i asking myself also..
why i can feel de feeling of happy before ??
how can tell me wt is de feeling of happy ??
finally i get de answers 4 myself also...
from small i was very naughty...
i knw start from seven yrs old i non-stop bring so many problem to my parent....
make them very up sad unhappy....
i make my friend unhappy also...
tat why...
i cant get my happy..
my true happy...

when this all thing only will end in my life??
when ??

Disappointed’

Six day...
Six days holidays…
U spent five day with your friend…
And this makes u let accompany me…

Ytd I told you…
I told u that I going to blind….
Wat your reaction??
U reaction tells me tat u not care me at all…

U say u goes accompany your NS friend cause they going to study not going go back camp…
U says u will be backing home tomorrow, and until de day of tomorrow ad le…
Wat u tells me?? Maybe I will go back tomorrow…
I don’t know tomorrow u will tell me wat again…

U at de camp accompany yr friend not enough ma??
Everyday chat, everyday meet… not enough ah??

I very hard wait until u have six day de holiday…
Tot u can accompany me...
But wat u does to me??
At camp accompany friend…
Holiday also accompany friend…

U promise me tat u will come kl accompany me…
Bt yr parent don give you…
I understand… never mind…
I never blame you…
U wants to go yr friend house until late never mind….
Everyday wanan to drink tea with friend never mind… go ahead…
What u want to do, I let u do… I let u go…
I never stop u anything before…

BUT…!!!
U got think before my feeling ma??
Did u think if u is me??
Did you??

I going to blind soon…
Going to cant see anything anymore… INCLUDE YOU…!!
I world going to be black in colour, lonely…
U understands my feeling ma…
HW do u feel when u r me??
How does u feel tat when u know yr own self going to blind…
In my mind just only have u de memory…
Some more does sad memory…
Happy de?? Don’t know go where le…

I know myself going to blind soon…
So hope tat u can have more time accompany me…
Hope tats my mind have more happy memory with you...
BT where you??
U was playing with your NS friend…
Is it accompanied yr going to study de NS friend important then yr GF de health?!?!?!

YOU ASK YOURSELF!! DID U DID A BF SHOULD DO DE THING?!?!?!

Wat de hell..!!!

Leong khai xiang….!!
Why u non-stop saying me want to break with you …?!?!?
Is u wanted to break with me is it??
Then u pushes it to me, is it?!?!?
Harr ??

Leong khai xiang..!!
U asks your own self….
U come back this few day got really use yr own heart accompany me ma??
U got ma?!?!?
U got does a bf want to de thing ma…??
U got ma?!?!

U NEVER.
U never….
I feeling like u never care me before….
Can’t feel your love anymore…

I m wat for you??
A toy??
A toy tat when u wants to play comes find me...
Don want play then dump it a side…??

This week happen many things on me…
Make me very suffer…
U know ma??
Really very suffer u know ma??
I want to tell u...
BT u…
Not busy 1st, chat later, accompany friend 1st this n tat de…
How I going to tell you…

U got think before my feeling me??
U got ma??
U understands my feeling ma??

tired...

Tired…
I not run de whole school up and down and make myself tired...…

Tired de is my mental…
Sometime I hope tat my mental same as my heart...
Why I said like tat…??
U see… when we not yet open our eye see this world…
Our heart ad start beating…
Until now still beating…
Never stop before…
And I really hope tat my mental was just same as my heart…
My mental really very tired….

I feel like to protect this relationship…
I use much energy…
I use all of my energy le…
I feeling very tired…

I have put much effort in this relationship…
I do much hard work in this relationship…
BUT…
No matter how much effort I put how much hard work tat I do...
Wat I get??
I get NOTHING..!!!
Is NOTHING..!!!!!

I ask myself...
Why??
Why I want to do so many things, use up all my energy and at last I get de is NOTHING!!!
Why?? Who can tell me why??

Relationship is belonging of two person de...
Why I feeling tat only me de one who non-stop giving out...
And never receive anything...
I hate...
I hate...
I really hate this feeling….!!

I really tired to giving without receiving u know ma??
U know ma?!?!?!
I can’t see tat u put effort in this relationship at all…
Only I m de one…

Sometime I m asking myself...
Do u really love me??
Did u really care this relationship??
Did u?!?!?!
Did u really appreciate this relation before??
Did you?!?!

Important de is…!!
DID U APPRECIATE TAT U HAV ME NOW!!!!!

who ??

Who??
Who can understand my feeling now, in this moment??
I don’t know wat kind of feeling me having now…
I know this kind of feeling contain many negative substances…
This feeling contain…
Sad
Unhappiness
Lonely
Boring

Who can take away my sad and bring me happy??
Who can take away my unhappiness and start bring me happiness??
Who can take away my lonely and can come accompany tell me tat u r not alone??
Who can take away my boring to bring me some fun??

Waiting…
I was waiting…
I m waiting de person appear in my life…
I don’t know whether he ad appear only I don’t know...
Or
De person not yet appear before…

Please~
Who??
Who can tell tat who can take away of my sad, unhappiness, lonely and boring…??

Feel…

I don’t know why…
I feeling like hard breathing when I text with you…
I don’t know why I will have this kind of feeling…

I don’t know why…
I feel like u getting far n far from me…
What going on??

I don’t know why…
I feeling u don’t understand me at all…
U doesn’t know wat I want at all…
I very suffer in this situation….

I want to to cry…
Btu I force myself to don cry…
Cause I know tat thr are no one will lend me a shoulder…
There are no one will hug me…
There was no one will wipe away my tear tell me don cry and I will beside you…
BUT…
At last I still cry le…. T.T

I was a person tat have a big imagination….
I was non-stop imagine tat sweet thing romance thing tat happen on me…
I force myself to don think… STOP IMAGINE..!!!
Cause I know tat won’t happen on me….
Btu I still can’t control myself…
I still nonstop thinking dreaming imagine….

This few days I flashing back me n u de memory…
Until today I only know tat our memory is very least...
Really very least…
And most of them are unhappy memory… not worth for me to remember…
But I can’t delete it in my mind...
Is not like delete some software in de computer…?
Just right click then click delete… then done…

U know ma??
I love u a lot a lot….
U every moment also in my heart…
But I don’t know why, u can’t get in my heart de deepest place tat where I m thr…
My heart de deepest place is dark and lonely…
I hope tat u can some in accompany me…
But…!!
I really don’t know why…
Why u can’t come in…

why..!!!

why ??
why ??
and WHY ??

i non-stop asking myself why why and WHY ??
btu thr are no ans..
i hope tat thr a person can sit in front of me and ans all my ans....!!!

six sence...

girls...
did u all believe yr six sense ma..
i very believe my six sense o...
cause i experience before...

seen so many year...
my six sence always telling me wat gonna to happen....
just like its knwo wat gonna happen the next secong minute hours and day....

few day ago...
after my dear call me...
if nt wrong tuesday tat just pass three day ago....
my six sence tell me tat smtg bad gonna happen on me and....
when my dear call me de time will getting short...
the folowing two time..
ehh..
really getting short le...

then after if not wrong two time de call...
my six sence tell me tat your dear not gonna to call me today at eight...
wow..
tat time i was waiting dear de call..
dear really never call me le....
haiz...

six sense ah, six sense ah....
from tat day u telling me smtg bad wil happen on me...
but u never tell me wat is de thing make me non-stop guessing only....
i don wnat stop guessing ad le...
wat going to happen o.o ??
haiz...

sorry.....

sorry...
sorry to all de ppl who love me...
sorry..
sorry tat i make u all sad...
sorry...

i knw tat i always repeat my mistake no ending....
sorry....
i dunno why i change..
sorry....
i really din have de mint to break yr heart de....
sorry....

sorry to my dear friend An Mei...
sorry to my dear parent....
sorry to my Pz Dennis....

i know..
i know i always did wrong...
u all always forgive me and non-stop giving me chance...
and i dunno to appercaite at all....
sorry...
sorry... T.T

please...
sorry...
i really din have de mean....
sorry...
i really sincerly say sorry..

i know i know...
i know all my sorry all boring for u all...
and..
i never change at all...
i know..
is my wrong..
i admit my wrong...

God.... please help me...
i always lose to de deviel...
i cant control myself..
please help me...
i mnow wrong le..
i knwo in this world no ppl can help me out..
only u can..
u can do it..
only u de one can make this happen...
please... help me.,...

ytd night...

u know ma??
ytd night i quite happy...
haha...
know wat happen ??
haha.. don tell u... bluek... cheh~~

dear at ns le...
he call me twice ytd night...
1 is abt eight smtg..
and another is at 11 smtg....

i very happy tat i can hear my dear dear de voice....
i most happy de is my dear at de last call when wanna to close phone
he said love me...

hey guys..
this is de first time le....
first time he auto said love me leh...
i wanna to reply love him too..
BUT
there was have a very very big light bulb beside me.... (mummy)
haha...
so i just reply dear by "en"....
sorry ya, dear....
just wanna tel dear tat i love dear too...!!
muackz....

after dear close phone..
mummy ask me a question...
mummy ask me"when u become his wife, why i dunno de"
cause mummy hear dear call me lao po... haha...
dear very less call me lao po de or any name...
expect in sms.... he will call me dar.... tat all...
swt right ?? =='''''
real life n sms not same at all de....
just like sms non stop saying love you..
bt when real life??
haha... u knw lo...

muackz...
still wanna to tell u at here..
i love you....

romance ??

in this world gto which girl don like romance....
most of de girl love romance think alot....
aspecially de one tat they love did to them....
even boy also like romace right??

i just feeling like nowaday...
all become opposite...
last time boy will always do smtg very romantik to girl...
nowaday...
opposite ad....
nowadays....
is girl need to sqeezz their mind to think way to make a romance thing to boy...
wat de hell is it...
de boy was just sitting there enjoy de feeling...
good rite ??

i know...
i know tat not everytime all aldo must did by guy....
girl also must...
but guy must did more than girl gua...
more hw much i dunno la....
for me guy must more "zhu dong"...

de one i hate is never take action at all de guy....
walao...
beh tahan lo...

ehh...
don u feeling boring...??
always go out date doing the same thing without any additional thing....
just like a dishes without salt, sugar or pepper...
did u think is nice ??
did u think like tat de food will be nice to eat??

haiz..
please la...
guys....

friday.... (tired day)

thurday after school then straight away go kawat kaki le....
from one o clock kawat until 330pm...
then call mummu coma and fetch..
who know mummy siad her can go fetch me call me take bus go home.....

wat to do ??
take bus only lo...
from my school straigh away down to bus stop....
i walk fast take abt 5 minutes...

then when i reach thr was so many bus pass by....
U63 got 2
U67 got 2 also
METRO 10 got 1
bus mini got 2
BUT.......!!
i want de t523 one also din have....
still never mind wor...
i wait....

wait wait wait....
de sky getting dark n dark..
nto because of going to be night wor.....
is going to rain wor...
very fast de...
de rain started..
sumore is bag rain.....
arrggghhhhh......

then i pray tat sumoe will come help me....
not long ago mummy come find me at bus stop le..
i was supprizse....
mummy tell me tat mummy de upline suddenly come cosway so tat she cn come fetch me..
thanks god....

mummy fetch me back home bath..
after bath i need to follow mummy go out cosway
cause mummy later will bring me go look for tuition when fetch sister back from school....

i go cosway is because wanan go look for my tuition..
who know mummy in rush not yet look finish then balik kampung ad....
haiz....

tired lo...
go out for ntg only....
if know early sure sleep at home de....

then at night..
dear sms come....
then i accompany dear until 6am....
wow...
then 630 need wake up go school le....

finish school at 1230pm...
kawat kaki after school until 2pm....
haiz....

kawat kaki....

few day ago (wednesday)
before going back home...
my koko (pandu puteri) de pengerusi come find me....
they call me go kawat kaki for hari sukan....
they said tat they lasck out of ppl....

i hate to kawat kaki..
but dunno why...
i promiss them o.O
swt lo....

they tell me tat de next day got practice....
after school....
=='''''''''

my dear friend....

brandon,
i dunno ytd night wat happen to you le...
dunno wat make u unhappy....
i happy tat u call me yesterday and let me accompany u to chat....

brandon,
don sad sad unhappy le....
forget de unhappy thing ba....
anything u still hav me this friend beside you..
take care...

dear going NS tomorrow le....

three month..
dear..
three month..
three month i cant meet dear le...

dear...
i wait u o.O
i wait dear come back...

dear,
u guai guai at ns o.O
don naughty naughty ah....

cant see dear for three month..
dar sure will miss dear alot...
dunno dear in camp will miss me ma...??

dear...
dar wait u back o.O
hope our love wont change....

dear...
u r de one i love de most...

dear..
thr was no one cn replace u in my heart....

i love you dear....
my love for u is forever...

apperciate.....

will u apperciate??
will u apperciate out relationship ma ??

u know ma ??
i was very pain..
know why ??
u said tat, tat your friend tell u tat..
thr was a girl love u, worry you, take care you, care you, treat u good not bad ad...
tat wat yr friend say..
after yr friend say u only scare tat i leave u...

hey...
if yr friend never say leh ??
you wont appercaite me ??
and before yr friend said tat...
u never apperiate me at all ??
wat de hell is zit ??

u knw u make my heart very pain ma ??
u know ma ??
i donwant yr friend siad...
i want u ownself know...!!

u got apperciate me before ma ??

u sure ?? u comfirm ??

my heart very pain....
last night i hav a big cry...
never sleep at all..
i cry until my eye pain...
no ones beside...
no one know...
no ones care abt it...

my heart really pain..
hav any medicine for it ma ??
i heart really pain...
in tat time i really think wanna to do stupid thing...
but when i really to do...
there was a voice tell me tat stop it...

i know..
i know tat i not a good gf..
i dunno how to tie up yr heart....
dunno how to make u love me the most...

me heart very pain...
when i knwo tat..
when i know tat u love de most is not me...
u miss de is not me...
u love de most is her..!!
miss de also is her...!!

u know ma ??
everytime u tell me tat u love me
u miss me..
u sure ma ??
u comfirm ma ??
is ME ma...
i was scare...
i was very scare...
i scare tat u miss her, u love her..
but u just telling me...

u tell me tat u heart pain..
unhappy...
i tot wat happen le...
u heart pain is because of her...
ALL IN HER..........!!
u still cant put down her...!!
i hate you..
i really hate you...

in de time i really want to give up le..
i really no more energy to support le...
u non-stop calling not to give up....
call me forgive you give u chance...

i give le my forgive...
i give le my chance...
wat will i get back ??

my heart very pain...
really very pain... u know ma ??
u know de pain ma ??

forgive?? chance ??

i dunno...
i dunno hw many time i can forgive you....
i feeling i non-stop forgive u, give u chance,
u dunno apperciate at all...
non-stop repeat de same thing.....

i asking myself...
hw only can let yr stop repeating de mistake ??
hw only can let me stop hurt from you....
iszit ??
if i don forgive you, don give u chance....
then u doesnt have de chance hurt me again le ??
i dunno...

i really think b4 tat don forgive you....
don let u hav chance anymore le...
i found out tat i forgive le so many time..
chance give le so many time...
wat i get back ??
happiness ??
no............!!
is de SAME....!!
u return me back de same thing....
or more worst de thing....!!

i dunno why..
why everytime i giving u chance ??
why everytime i gove u chance hurt myself??
why tat my heart so soft...
why ??

cause i really LOVE YOU.......!!

please......

if i suddenly dissappear le..
please...
don go find me....
don go search every where for me..
don catch me back....
can ma ??

i really dislike this world...
i hate this world...

daddy...
why don u bring me up...
if u don bring me up...
can i make myself up...

daddy..
i don want drop tear le...

daddy
please tat away my tears...

daddy
i don like this world...

daddy.......!!
did u hear wat i pray...
did u knwo wat i want...

daddy
i need yr help..
I NEED YOU...!!

daddy...
i really want beside you..
let me beside u can ma ??
can i see you later ??

normal

i just a normal girl..
wanna to have a normal life...
wanna to have a normal love from you...
tat all...
GOT SO HARD MA ??

Sorry…

Sorry…

Familiar ma ??

U know ma ??

In this six month and 2 day…

U tell me how many sorry le ma ??

U tell me de sorry is uncountable de…

U know ma ??

I want de is not sorry u know ma ??

I want de is action…

Not SORRY…

I don want just sorry tat word without meaning….

U know ma ??

Why every time thr was smtg happen,

u only know how to say sorry sorry sorry…

why ??

why u doesn’t let de sorry meaningfull ??

why don u do smtg ??

why everything sorry ??

please…

why u don try to solve it ??

why ??

why u always dunno ??

why DON U TRY TO KNOW….

Why everytime must dunno ??

I hate everytime u reply dunno, anything and whatever….

U know ma ??

Cause of yr dunno, yr anything, yr whatever…

Feeling like u don care…

U know ma ??

Can ma ??

Can u stop dunno anything and whatever le ma ??

Please…

Can u stop repeating de mistake can le ma ??

Can u stop break de promise le ma ??

I m tired...

I no energy le…

I m scared tat my energy no enough to support this relationship…

Please..

CAN U STOP IT MA ??

Sometime… something…

Sometime some thing….

Not in your control…

U cant control it….

Sometime something…

I hope tat I dunno….

But I cant control it…

Sometime something…

u really hope tat it never happen b4…

But It really happen…

Sometime something…

I really hope tat I m not clever…

I found out tat I too clever in found put de truth…

And let de truth hurt myself…

I think I can become a police in future… = =`````

Sometime something…

It will make u too tired…

U will try to stop the thing happen but…

Sometime something…

U cant do it on your own…

No one can help you…

And one person can help you…

There was one person…

No matter wat happen HE wont leave us…

HE was every minute, every second beside us…

HE love everyone in this world…

But not everyone love HIM in this world…

Even duo not everyone love HIM in this world…

Btu HE still love us…

No matter wat we do…

HE still love us…

I love HIM..

Dear daddy in heaven…

I love you…!!

u know ma ?? can u ??

U know ma ??

U different from last time….

U different…

U change…

U know ma ??

U long time never hav a good time accompany me le…

Everytime we sms u was not concentrate at all…

U know ma??

U not like last time tell me everything related to you le…

Everytime want me to ask u only will say….

Last time de u not like tat de…

Last time de u, u will tell me everything….

U will tell me tomorrow whr u go, wat will u do and more and more…

But now no more le…

U know ma??

Did u know tat I afraid…

I was afraid tat u…

Until now I still no confidence at all in u…

U know ma ??

I was very tired…

I really tired le…

I hav no energy le…

No one give me energy…

No one Support me…

U know ma ??

I hate..

I hate this kind of feeling….

I really hate it a lot…

U know ma??

I hav think many time tat

Should I give up ??

Should I ??

I non stop repeat asking myself…

SHOULD I ?!?!?!?!?!

U know ma ??

Did u know tat everyday every night…

I was crying…

Even duo now I m crying…

Alone…

I hav no one to share my sadness…

No ones take away my tears….

U know ma ??

My heart was very pain…

Really every pain…

How only my heart will stop pain ??

Who can teach me??

Please…

Take away my pain….

Can you ??

Can u stop dunno…

And start to know….

Can you??

Just use yr mind abit or more??

Just use to think abit or more??

Can you ??

Can u just “zhu dong” abit ??

Nt everytime me…

I m TIRED…………!!

Can you??

Can u do smtg without I tell…

Why everything I tell u,

U only do…

If everything need I tell..

All nt meaning full le…

Can you??

Can you just let me in my mind leave down some or more happy de memory…??

Can you ?!

CAn you ?!?

CAN you ?!?!

CAN You ?!?!?

CAN YOu ?!?!?!

CAN YOU ?!?!?!?

Lord Jesus

I dunno wat should I do ??

I dunno wat should I deciede…

I dunno how to solve it..

.

Oh~ Lord Jesus…

Can u teach me ??

Can u bring me to de right way ??

Wat should I do only can make myself to feel better ??

Wat should I decide is only de right decision..??

And

How to solve all de problem…

Oh~ Lord Jesus…

Please~~

I need you…

I love you…

I am willing follow you….

Oh~ Lord Jesus….

I m sorry….

I know tat I nt a good daughter…

I know I always make u drop tear…

I m sorry…

I know tat smtg is wrong…

I still wanna to do…

I m sorry…

Oh~ Lord Jesus…

I have lost my happy long long time ago…

Can u give me back ??

Please…

Can u ?

I beg you…

I wanna back my happiness…

Please…

I really want back… L

Oh~ Lord Jesus…

My heart very pain..

Jesus u rmb ma ??

I pray before tat I wanna to die..

I wanna to be with u in de heaven..

I wanna u bring me de place tat without tears…

I from small until now I living in de world tat full of tear…

I wanna to quit…

Can ma ??

Please…

Either u bring me up let me stay with you

OR

Let me quit from like tat de world…

Give me happiness…

Oh~ Lord Jesus…

I know tat u know my problem…

U know wat I want…

U know wat I need…

Please…

Show me de way….

Oh~ Lord Jesus…

I pray sincerely in de night….

I know tat u hear wat I praying…

Pray in de name of Jesus, AMEN !!

tat night

I wont forget tat night in my life…

Tat night is my most happy night…

I was hoping every night is like tat…

De last ppl I saw when I sleep is you…

And

De first ppl I saw when I wake is you…

Miss…

I miss tat night a lot…

I rmb tat we sing, we play, we chat…

Is was so fun…

When we play until tired le then we sleep le…

Rmb…

I rmb tat, tat night I bring smile sleep together with me…

No tears…

I miss tat night…

I really miss it…

I was so happy in de night…

Muaxxx !!

I love you…!!