life...

do u all like your life ??
do u all hope tat u all never born before ??
do u all hope tat u all never came to this world ??

i doesnt liek my life... i hate it...
ya... i hope tat i never born before....
yes... i hope tat u never came to this world....

i don like my life when i small....
i feeling like my world full of darkness....
non-colous...
black and white....

i was always alone....
no ppl accompany me....
i hate this type feeling....
but this typr of feeling never get off from me before....

i was non-stop finding....
wat i m finding ??
i finding soemthing tat can make my really happy....
i lost my happy long time ago...
i lost i happy when me in primary school ba....

who can help me ??
whoc an help me find back my happy....

tired...
i was very tired....
i was very tired with my life.....
i feeling like all de thing non-stop repeating....
when i m small, i non-stop finding happy....
i can said tat i really feel tired to find happy le....

i dunno why...
i feeling like...
i cant do back myself....
i feeling like i wearing a mask no matter wat i m doing, no matter where i m.....
i wanna to be back myself...
but i cant...
i had try before.. i cant....
maybe i ad biasa with wearing mask de me ba....
BUT
but i don like wearing de mask de me....
who can help me...
please... :'(

i had think before....
i think before to give up my life...
my life doesnt meaning full at all....
full of sadness...
who want like tat de life ??

ytd night....
in de middle night...
i pray to de god....
i beg de god bring me to de heaven and stay beside him...
i non-stop calling god bring me to de haven...
i really wanna to there..
i don want stay at here...
i pray to de god...
bring me go up when i sleep..
bring me go peacefully....
the whole night i cant sleep at all...

i reach school.....
siting my form 4 1st term exam..
today was the last day of de 1st term exam...
i do my exam serious...
after finish school...
i know tat my mum will fetch me late....
i non-stop in de middle of de road...

know wat i m hoping ??
i hope tat thr was suddenly a car bang me and just died...
i really hope tat so much...
but never...
i still alive....

anyone can suggested i better way for me to died ??
if it really work...
thanks....